My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
