You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
