apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you never un-have a 4some
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
