Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
