Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
