So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
