next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
