I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
