I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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