i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
