how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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