9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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