I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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