and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
They are going to name an STD after you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
