oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
