I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
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