I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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