Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
