i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
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My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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