Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
