Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We're too hungover to prance.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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