Pants 0. Shit 1.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
