WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
