Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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