No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
