shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
