Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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