i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
