It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
