It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
