She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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