can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
