you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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