why didn't you poke me back
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
