my soul wont recognize me after tonight
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
