I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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