I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize