I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
