oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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