He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
