ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
