i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
