i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
