can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize