it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
