I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
