I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
