He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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