it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Dignity is for republicans.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
