Can i not drive my cunt home
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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