i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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