yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
