So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
