I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
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there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often