My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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