Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
