No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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