Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
