He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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