had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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