Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just had sex bonerless
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
