So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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