Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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