direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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