I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
