you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
